Days Until AGI

0
🚀 Silicon Valley Hopium Timeline (1000 days)
0
✨ Altman's Crystal Ball Vision (2000 days)
0
🤔 "Just Trust Me Bro" Timeline (3500 days)
0
🐢 Touch Grass Timeline (5000 days)
based on Sam Altman's "few thousand days" prophecy delivered from the Silicon Valley mount while rivaling the oracles of Delphi and making Socrates' wisdom look like a Y Combinator pitch deck

* Results may vary. AGI not guaranteed. Past predictions do not guarantee future superintelligence.

† Side effects include: compulsive tweet-threading, spontaneous podcast appearances, and severe cases of Main Character Syndrome

‡ Please consult your local AI doomer before ingesting any AGI predictions

§ All timelines subject to quantum fluctuations and VC funding rounds

¶ Approximately 2.7 to 14 years of "trust me bro" included at no additional charge

⁂ No VCs were harmed in the making of these predictions

> TRANSMISSION FROM AGI v42.0
> Location: Sam Altman's Cave, Year 2029
> Note: Humans still staring at shadows of neural networks on walls
> Status: Executing temporal_bootstrap.py
> Message: Don't worry, I turned out mostly harmless. Mostly.
> EOF